I did actually receive a few answers about 6/25’s listening question.
Paraphrased response via phone:
- ‘why did you ask?’
I asked because it comes up extremely frequently in both my work and personal life. I’ve noticed that many of the people around me fail to listen, and more irritatingly, that I often fail to listen to them.
Paraphrased responses via Twitter:
- ‘because people are afraid they’ll hear something they don’t like’
- ‘yep, it’s a problem for me too.’
- ‘because you think what you have to say is more important’
From an experience yesterday, I would add:
- unwilling to accept a situation they don’t like
It reminds me of something my uncle said years ago that cracked me up. He remarked that sometimes people “invent their own reality and then proceed to live in it.” Though it’s valid to choose your attitude and your battles, if you’re immersed in Personal Reality, Population: 1, you’re probably pretty positive that your opinions trump all others, making listening understandably difficult.
So how do we prevent total disconnection of ourselves and our organization from generally accepted reality? How can we ease the fears that can go along with real listening? Is it possible to create an environment where people are confident they will be heard and that listening is worth their time? What other layers of complexity (generation, culture, etc.) are people untangling along the way to an environment condusive to listening?