“You’re Too Hard On Yourself!”

Analog comment from my grandma after reading this blog:

I think you’re too hard on yourself.

Analog comment from my fiance:

You’re your own strongest critic.

Yes, I evaluate my lessons with a very critical eye.

But hear me out: I’m extremely careful to be methodical and specific when I look back at my lessons.  First, it helps me improve my planning and teaching.  Second, it also helps even out the highs and lows I feel after classes.

After the “blah” day of teaching, I didn’t go home and say, “Well, that sucked.  I guess I’m a horrible teacher after all” and drown my sorrows in Plants vs. Zombies.  First I looked at what went well, and to my surprise, I could list off a bunch of learning that I knew took place that day.  When I looked at what went wrong, it was actually one aspect of one activity.  It wasn’t a catastrophe just because it wasn’t perfect.  Even though I felt a little off, the class made progress.

On the flip side, sometimes I feel like a lesson just went Amazingly well and I can’t even believe how competent I feel.  I still look back at exactly what went well and why.  Then, when I ask myself what could have been improved, I realize that actually, it wasn’t perfect.  Even though I felt like a veritable teaching wizard, I can still make progress as an educator.

So in a way, yes, I’m hard on myself.  But by being rationally critical of the learning that took place on a given day, I open the door for my own growth as a teacher and I gently close the door that irrational, unsubstantiated fears of inadequacy would otherwise pour through on the “blah” days.

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WhatWorks?

I just happened upon www.whatworks.org, “benchmarking for nonprofits.”  I was hoping it was a resource of best-practices, but at first glance it seems to be focused purely on measurement of outcomes.  Still, very cool idea.  I’ll be looking at it more to see if it leaves me disappointed or inspired.

EDIT:

I quick spied on it using Technorati.  Technorati is officially the best idea ever.